Lifestyle blogger Esther (UrbanMoms) and myself are having a conversation every two weeks about our real lifes behind our online (blog) world. As from today you can join us...
This time it is all about CHOICES. Read the start of this conversation from Esther on her blog here.
WE WANT IT ALL...THE PERFECT LIFE
Yes we want it all, the perfect life...and just like you sometimes I wonder and ask myself "How do they manage to do all of it?" From the outside they have the perfect life, always looking good and happy, having the perfect job and combining that with a family life, holidays, nice trips and events....and I can go on for a little while.
But then I ask myself...maybe there are people out there who are thinking the same about you and me? We share the most wonderful things because that's what we like to do. We create a world where you can dream and be inspired and that people like to read and see. But just like everybody else we are only human and of course there are moments we feel we fail in one thing because we choose something else.
When I am working a bit more then I have planned there is that feeling of guild toward my kids. Finding the right balance is difficult and stays difficult. For me it works great that I have a great back up (as in my mom) and I know that my kids are in the best place they could be when I have to work or have appointments.
This year my oldest son is going to school and that included making choices for me. I have chosen to be there as much as I can be for my boy in this first period of school. This means planning, accepting help and scheduling as much during school times. Making choices and adapt to it... And there are days it works great and there are days it work not as you want it. For me this means making choices too. With a little boy of 11 months and starting with broken nights all over again for the last few months I have a constant lack of sleep and my energy level is not what it was. That means taking really good care of myself (and I sometimes tend to not do this as much as I should), eating healthy and trying to get as much sleep as I can. Therefor I have to make choices meaning doing as much as I can during the day and working less in the evenings. In the end this will make me feel better and I get more things done. For now I choose to feel better, work on great projects and be there for my kids. This means making choices and saying NO when I have to.
Is this always easy?
NO, but sometimes it needs to be done. Especially in this phase of my life...and there will come another period without broken nights, a lack of sleep and kids that will be older and more independent then now with a baby and a 4 year old.
My only advice to you concerning your own family is this...
Choose what feels good for you and your family. Are you a better mom when you have more then one child? Ofcourse not... There is always something to say...when you have one child, when you have two boys (didn't you wanted to have a girl? or... you can always have a third...) and so on.
I am happy to have two healthy boys but like every mom there are HIGHS and LOWS and it can be hard and busy. So choose what your heart says and if that means you are happy with one (very special) boy then that's all right. He will have a great life with a mom and dad that love him very much and with lots of friends to play with.